Translated from 日本語 • View original Previously, I wrote about the bitter and painful feedback I received in my working life.
-The story of psycho-effective feedback-
(1) "If I tell that person, Nakamura-kun will be in trouble." https://blog.colorkrew.com/feedback_01/ (2) "Everyone on the team is saying that I can't trust you anymore" https://blog.colorkrew.com/feedback_02/ (3) (Final) "I, I don't want to work with Omae." https://blog.colorkrew.com/feedback_03/ I wrote about the painful ones, so I'll write the positive ones soon! It's been a year and a half. I remembered it, so I finally decided to write it and headed to the keyboard.
Mr. I, a benefactor who changed my life with positive feedback
Mr. I is just one year older than me. He was my boss for many periods from the time I was a new employee to my 40s.
Since I was young, he has been scolding, comforting, and encouraging me, and has been persistently with me.
There are many benefactors in my working life that I am grateful for, but if I were asked to name the best benefactor among them, it would definitely be Mr. I.
20s who learned to take a stance as a person without imposing their superiors and subordinates
Mr. I was, simply put, a person of character.
Although he was a senior and a boss, he was not arrogant at all. At that time, the company had an absolute vertical relationship, so I experienced many unreasonable things in my relationship with my seniors and juniors, but I have never felt that way in my relationship with Mr. I.
When I went out for a drink, I was treated to 100%. Even when I talked about my work cheekily, he listened to me as if it were enveloping, and he was like a lump of security for me. By the way, once I paid the bill while he was going to the bathroom, I was very angry. "Don't give it back to me, give it back to my junior."
He is also a person who has become my goal, saying, "I want to be an adult who interacts with people with this kind of stance."
I would like to introduce three feedback that he gave me that gave me strength when I was not confident.
Feedback (1) "People are gathering around Omae"
When I was in my 20s, there was a person who was four years older than me in the same department and admired me very much. He was a popular person with everyone, and I often took him out for drinks.
He was always the one who gave me adult advice with a smile, no matter how cheeky I said.
The more I dated that person, the more I gradually began to feel inferior. That person is not only soft, but also says strict things, and yet he has never been power harassed at all, and he is a man.
He naturally became popular and was always surrounded by people.
In comparison, although I had some good friends, some of my seniors hated me, and my presence in the company was completely different from that person.
I didn't want to be honestly envious of my twisted nature, but one day, I took advantage of my drunkenness and said to Mr. I, "I envy you. That person is like the sun."
Mr. I listened to me in silence for a while, and then said, "There are people gathering around Omae." I didn't really understand what it meant and replied, "That's not true!"
Mr. I said: "It's true that he's probably popular in the company, and I love him too. But look not only inside the company, but also outside the company. The people outside the company we work with all like Omae. Thanks to that, our department has been able to build a good relationship with them. Omae is popular. There may be a difference between inside the company and outside the company, but it's true that people gather around Omae."
I see...
Mr. I continues. "By the way, I'm also one of the people gathered around Omae."
There are no words that have encouraged me in my life so far like this statement. I'm sure there aren't many people who can say this line to their juniors.
By the way, for me, the feedback from Mr. I was a simple person, and I no longer had to worry about this issue since.
Feedback (2) "Speak with confidence, Omae's English is more powerful."
Mr. I had experience in the expatriate and spoke fluent English. On the other hand, when I was in my 20s, I couldn't understand English at all and couldn't speak it at all.
At that time, we were in the business of selling products from American companies in Japan. Very rarely, executives from the United States come, and this was painful for me.
I was on the front line of sales, and I was in a position where I had to negotiate and communicate, but my English was not good, so I always asked my boss, Mr. I, in advance to answer questions and input what I wanted him to say, and I spent a year or two.
After such a thing continued, unlike the usual courtesy visits, there came a time when we had to negotiate with various things that we wanted to convey.
Suddenly, I was told: "I won't talk to you today, so you can tell me everything."
Nanu!?
"No, it's impossible, you know, but how bad my English is."
Mr. I said. "No matter how well I explain various things in English, the power of words is different from when you speak when you have real hardships on the set and know the customer's way of thinking.
"No, but I really can't speak, you know."
Mr. I: "Tell me the point. It doesn't have to be written properly, so explain it first. On top of that, if this condition is met, "I buy it!" "You can say that."
I thought I could say I buy it. By the way, I can also say that I don't buy it.
I tried it. I tried my best to speak English that I couldn't speak.
Surprisingly, the people who participated in the meeting listened carefully to the English I spoke. Now that I think about it, it is natural to say that my words were the words of the customers to them, but for me, the experience of being able to manage even if I couldn't understand English was fresh and shocking.
After this, I lost the shame I had about English and opened up again and started talking to people from overseas.
Feedback (3) "Karakul is fine"
This is also a pretty pathetic story.
In 2011, the second year I came to Karakul. You're already 40 years old. Karakul was still performing poorly. It was already breaking the disgraceful record of a continuous current account deficit for more than 50 months.
At that time, a red card was issued from the parent company's management plan. I was exhausted as I was asked to submit various materials every month, and my seniors at the company told me that if I couldn't do it for another year, it would really be settled.
Then one day, I had the opportunity to go only with a senior from my old home, and he got drunk and started doing incomprehensible things by calling the president of the company, directors, and other great people he knew. We, the juniors, were watching and thinking, "Hey, hey, please don't do it."
It was about 11 o'clock at night, so fortunately no one answered the phone. Laughter
In that flow, my senior also called Mr. I. When my senior was asked, "What's wrong?", he handed me his cell phone, saying, "Oh, it seems that Nakamura has something he wants to talk about."
At that time, Mr. I was the head of the main department at the head office for Karakul. Hey senior! I thought, but anyway, when I answered the phone, I was exhausted and reflexively apologized, saying, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
Mr. I simply said in a gentle voice, "The current condition of Karakul is not your fault, and Karakulu is fine." I felt pathetic, grateful, and sad, and I was speechless, so I returned my phone to my senior...
It was very strange, but when I heard those words, I somehow regained my energy from the next day. There was no basis, but Mr. I said, "It's okay," so I think I just felt okay.
I don't know what it really was, but after about six months, Karakul recovered in a V-shape and became profitable, thanks to luck.
When I read it again after writing, it may have been more about coaching than feedback. And I reaffirmed my single-celled nature. Laughter
I hope you will forgive me for saying that feedback and coaching are a fine line.