Translated from 日本語 • View original The biggest problem I had when I was stationed in Germany was actually not English. What troubled me the most. It was "socializing".
Our company, which was responsible for selling products from Japanese manufacturers, had distributors all over Europe, from Russia in the east to Portugal in the west.
Nowadays, the format of gathering in real life feels like a long time ago, but at that time, once a year, all the distributors were gathered and an overnight agency meeting was held.
The daytime meeting was still better because I only suffered in English. The hard part is talking to people you meet for the first time while having a dinner party.
At a standing meal, we greet each other for a while, have a light conversation, and then move to different people to talk. I really don't like that kind of behavior, and I feel depressed about a month before that meeting every year. I always remembered the marathon before the marathon when I was in junior high school.
I'm a good talker, so when I say this, people always don't believe me, "That's impossible!", but I'm actually very shy. That's why first-timers are always not good at it.
By the way, I confessed that for the first two years or so when I became a member of society and started doing sales, I was too tired of meeting new people on weekdays and lived a life of sleeping all weekends.
You can't create opportunities on your own
The pretense has become longer.
Even for me, I feel from experience that it is very important to communicate well with people (= socializing). Because you can't create opportunities on your own.
You can prepare yourself to seize opportunities, but the opportunities themselves are always created in the relationships with those around you.
Even if you have enough ability, if the people around you don't think, "Let's leave it to him (her)," you won't have a chance to prove your ability.
You may think, "It doesn't matter if you start a business without joining a company," but even if you start a business, you can't do business on your own. You just don't have to do internal politics, but you really need to communicate with the people around you.
I often hear the argument that social skills and communication alone are not enough, but it is not enough to improve your skills. Both are necessary.
Looking back on myself, I realize that even though I was quite cheeky in my 20s, the seniors and bosses around me tolerated me and gave me various opportunities, which led to my later career.
The opportunity was definitely not carved out by myself, but was given to me.
Women are charming, men are xxx
There is a Showa proverb that says, "A woman is charming, a man is courageous". Needless to say, it means that women need charm and men need courage.
In the current Reiwa era, these gender-related stereotypes are close to forbidden phrases, but I think that "both women and men are charming".
Aegyo is something that leads to socializing.
It doesn't have to be good. Expressing your desire to have a friendly relationship with the other person is charming, and that dramatically improves the relationship.
However, it is not good to flatter them. On the contrary, you will not be respected by the other person. Aim to get closer to the other person while holding yourself properly.
Correct aegyo is quite difficult.
Likes are returned: The theorem of reciprocity
Relationships with people are always based on the reciprocating theorem that "I like what I like" and "I hate you for what I don't like" is at work.
Rather than so-called superficial socializing, you will fall in love with the other person and show your charm, and the other person's love will be returned.
Business is also what people do. If it is human nature to want to work with the person you like, I think it is important for all business people to create good relationships first.
I will summarize.
Social skills to seize opportunities. But it was not about the technique of talking like water on the stand, but about falling in love with the other person and showing charm.
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